2/2 Back-to-School, Stress-Free
How to manage volunteering at school, school communications, multiple activities and sports, and keeping up with everyone else, Scandi style? Hint: don't do it.
Q&A, part 2!
Let’s dive straight in! If you didn’t read the first part of this newsletter, where I answered your questions about childcare & motherhood during school season and school lunches, you can find it below.
@alexsw91: “enrolling kids in all the different activities”.
Just don’t do it! One after-school activity, or an activity 1-2 times a week, per kid, per season, is enough, at least until they turn ten. Finns believe it’s essential for your child’s development to have a lot of free play time at home. Now that my older kids are 10 and 11, and they play at a very competitive level, they will have about three after-school practices a week for their sport. Before committing to any activity, consider whether it is doable and enjoyable for you too, and how you'd like the afternoons and evenings to unfold—and if you can get help with the chauffering. I wrote more about kids’ activities here:
@yasminatiziri_m: “scheduling/ balance with school volunteering and personal outlets for mom”
In terms of school volunteering, don’t do it unless it’s something you love to do, have a lot of free time for, and it gives you purpose. In Finland, you can’t volunteer even for field trips (with very few exceptions). There, school is where teachers run the show; you (and your partner) run the show at home. The school day gives me my only time to pursue my career, take care of things I need to do without the kids, and also to take care of myself, so I will hold onto that time. The only time I would love to volunteer is to bring my kids’ classes outside for recess when it rains—but no school has yet taken me up on my offer! More on this topic below:
@carsha1031: “My three kids are in 3 different schools now, so ALL the communication emails to keep up with”
This is precisely my dilemma this fall! That’s likely over a hundred messages each month! I have come up with a radical solution. I will not do it. I’m attempting to outsource it all. Last year, when we had two different schools, I outsourced one school to my husband, but then he couldn’t keep up with it either, and it was a shitshow, our child telling us his important concert was “tonight!” or them suddenly getting home at 11am because it was “half day!” In Finland, you typically receive one weekly note in a single app. Now, I will ask to meet with anyone who has any power over the amount of messages, and request that we simplify the communication. But as I anticipate the changes to be slow, I’ll first work with an executive assistant to manage it and then see if it can be outsourced to an au pair. If it sounds crazy, read this:
@margaretgellison: “Very curious about Nordics and keeping up with the Joneses”
In the Nordics, the point in life is to find contentment, not to keep a scorecard. And that’s different for every family and every person. When another parent says something, and my first instinct is to help my kids keep up, I pause and ask: “What would “the Nordic me” do?” You might find this post about success interesting:
Would you do Back to School, the Nordic-inspired way?
If you enjoyed these Nordic insights, don’t forget to tap the heart-shaped like button at the end! It’s like saying, “Hi, I read it, thanks!”
PS. This fall, I’ll be sending you several parenting hacks from the happiest country in the world, Finland, to simplify your life—and raise more capable kids. If you have friends who would love a new perspective on motherhood, now is a great time to share this newsletter!
x Annabella Daily
Isn’t it funny that I feel like I needed someone else’s permission to do less? Your note came at a perfect time! Skipped the call to volunteer meeting at school to do a work out before work. Thank you 😊
I'm also committed to keeping the extracurricular activities light, but starting this week, my kindergartner will have a weekly soccer practice, soccer game, and ballet class. At least all of these will be within biking distance! Swim and art will have to wait until another season :)
As for the school communications and volunteering, I admire your approach. I've felt guilty for not volunteering more now that I don't have an office job, but school hours are my only time to focus on my creative growth and personal projects.