5 Unexpected Reasons Why Nordic Moms Thrive vs Survive
It's back to school and American motherhood is still in crisis. Can we change anything?
What’s no secret, is how American motherhood is in crisis. To dive deeper into why, and experiences of Americans (while I have a dual citizenship to the US and Finland, I’m still a Finn who has lived in the US), just take a look at these headlines:
Time: America has been failing mothers for a long time: “We must now completely reimagine their role and start over.”
Salon: Is This the Worst Time in American History to Become a mom? : “Parents have this terrible misconception today, and mothers especially, that they are supposed to be everything, do everything and provide everything for their babies — that's what a good mother does”.
Motherly: Cynthia Nixon’s viral video on the impossible standards for women
There are countless other examples, but what’s more, is that what American mothers direct message me privately on Instagram is very different from what anyone would dare to say out in public: no matter what your situation in life, motherhood manages to overwhelm and exhaust in America.
There are exceptions of course: and if you an American mom not relating to any of this, stop now, and skip this read (you don’t need the tips!). If you love how things are, but just would love the American government support structures or other American inequalities to change, also stop now, and skip this read. I can’t change any of that.
But if you are a mom anywhere who would love to uncover some Scandi mom secrets for a slightly more relaxing and blissful motherhood, read on. What I can do, is offer you some insight into the Nordic motherhood mindset, which can make the small day to day things easier, and more relaxing, adding up to a whole different way to do motherhood.
Let kids be kids.
In the US, your children are very much a reflection of you and many a mom friend has talked with me about the shame you feel when something doesn’t go according to plan in public (the looks!). But even in the best of circumstances, childhood is messy, raw, chaotic, and full of emotional ups and downs, unexpected reactions and learning and relearning
Play first, school second. In the US, there are massive inequalities in schools and there is an equally massive emphasis to go to “the best” public (or private, for some) schools. Succeeding with standardized testing and keeping up or succeeding your peers academically is a big focus. The Nordic “best” is something very different:
Parents spend more time co-existing with their children, and a lot less time actively supervising all of their time, activities, and playdates