Moms' & Kids' Rights: US vs. the Nordics

Basic rights that moms & kids have in every other 1st world country besides the US lead to a way less anxious & overwhelmed life & offer more balance for everyone. So why is it so controversial?

Hi new and old friends! I just went slightly MIA because of a very common American parent problem: loss of childcare, replacement not working out and not being able to find yet another replacement (which is also a full time job!).

I’ll discuss that journey at another post, but for now, woooah—have you too ever had the feeling where you multi-task so hard and your brain is in such overdrive that even thinking straight (and writing!) becomes a struggle? Not willing to burnout again, I chose to hit the pause button on most things beyond my three kids under nine.

Had I worked at a corporate job, I certainly would likely have been let go this past month, and if my family was dependent on the income of my weekly efforts on my business, well, I’m not sure how that would have turned out.

I have had this challenge before—but now, after spending the five months in Finland last year, where childcare problems don’t exist (at a level they do in the US)—it simply feels crazy to struggle with something like this. (And yes, I do try to convince my American husband to move to Finland while we have young kids;-) This is what daycare looks like in Finland.

But what’s even crazier, is how massive the consequences are, when childcare is not an issue. It doesn’t just change your life, it changes the country. Let me tell you why.

Childcare is the cornerstone of a country

When I was 5, and my younger sister was 1, my mom was one of those people who started fighting for the right for families to have universal, high quality, affordable daycare in Finland.

After her paid maternity leave, she wanted to go back to her job in publishing, but couldn’t find a place for my sister. Even though my mom’s challenge was solved when I was able to convince the head of my daycare (I was in the kindergarten class), to find a place for my sister in the toddler class, she, among several others, kept fighting for 12 years for the law “Family’s Right to Choose” to pass. (The family could choose if they wanted their child in daycare and the municipality would need to provide an affordable, high quality placement).

This law ended up providing an economic boost to the country, but what’s more, it propelled moms to get into politics.

If you enjoyed this post, tap the heart-shaped like button at the bottom, so I know you were here:-) It’s like saying hi!

Why so many moms in the Finnish government?

In the last government, Finland had a toddler mom as the prime minister, and out of the 17 ministers, 10 were moms, many with daycare-age children. Moms have been a big part of the political discourse for multiple governments, and it shows as benefits for the whole family. Dads too have won big: they got allocated 5.5 months of the parental leave. And, as you know, Finland keeps getting rated as the Happiest Country in the World.

In contrast, in the US, there are currently more guys named “John” than moms with underage children. So, it’s no surprise that the decisions at the top reflect that. And perhaps then it’s no surprise that American moms and kids currently have less rights that moms and kids in any other first world country.

I think American families simply deserve better. It’s not utopian thinking, if every other first world country has figured it out.

What I decided to do

To do my part as a new American citizen (I have dual citizenships and hold Finnish and American passports), I recently hosted a fundraiser for an organization called Vote Mama, that supports, helps and raises funds for moms running for office up and down the ballot. I felt very privileged to host and meet change makers CT Congresswoman Jahana Hayes, Mayor of Stamford Caroline Simmons and Secretary of State Stephanie Thomas.

I, along with 65+ other moms from my town in Connecticut, were so inspired and it was an absolutely magical evening.

Why is progress so controversial?

That said, while sending invites around, I learned that even voicing your interest in helping American moms and kids get more rights is controversial: countless moms, especially moms in business, declined to join the event because they “can’t be seen as political” even though the issues are the ones that help moms thrive. (Vote Mama is nonpartisan but currently supports democratic moms as they are the ones pushing for mom and kid-friendly legislation). I can only imagine that, if they came, they might have lost clients.

And, when I posted my speech from the event on my social, in the negative comments (majority was positive), I got things like “STFU” or “Go back to Finland” and I didn’t even look at the comments TikTok filtered away.

We are talking about giving moms a choice to work (if they choose to; of course dads too but in the US that doesn’t seem to be an issue), giving every kid a right to high quality daycare (and to right to learn and socialize), and giving moms an opportunity to run for office.

If you are in the US, is that really too much or simply too controversial to ask in today’s America? If you are in Finland or anywhere with these basic rights, could you imagine if they were taken away? They are so critical, no?!

x Annabella

PS. If you too are overwhelmed these days, a Nordic tip: cold plunges or ice baths help massively during overwhelming times!

PPS. Local elections in the US are coming up on November 7th! Mark it down in your calendars and make sure to vote in your school board, town committee and other elections: it can make a massive difference.