(Don't) Make Memories This Summer

Nordics take their summers very seriously, and you (and I) should too. Let's not try to produce magical moments, let's be present instead, with less to do & fewer places to be.

Jun 13, 2025

I admit: after I moved to the US, I have never had a truly Nordic summer. I see it on Instagram, I hear about it it from my Finnish friends, and I witness my family doing it—even if sometimes just from photos shared on WhatsApp.

Every June, I say to myself: “what if I really tried to do it this time?” And then I somehow fail, pulled into maintaining the high standards of the day-to-day running of our lives, from family to work and everything in between—wanting to feel like I’m moving forward in life. What’s worse, however, is that somehow, I also succumb to the pressure of trying to “make memories”.

In the Nordics, no one talks about that—or does that. Because you can’t manufacture a perfect moment: you can only be present in it, when it unexpectedly unfolds. This time around, I’m daring myself to truly try the summer the Nordic way—can I slow things down so much that we have more time to let these perfect moments unfold, without thinking what’s happening next, where we need to be or what we should do. Would you dare to try it too?

By the way, in a recent New York Times article, in the US they call this type of lightly scheduled or unscheduled summer “letting kids rot” or “rotting”. In the Nordics, they would call that “letting you and the kids thrive.”

The Key to a Great Summer

For the Nordics, the entire point of the summer season, which officially begins at Midsummer (June 24th, though it’s often celebrated the weekend before), is to take off pressure, not to add to it.

The idea is that kids don’t need extra special activities, experiences or enrichment or a new type of camp each week—or even that much supervision, depending on the age. They certainly don’t need “learning opportunities” which in the US means getting a leg up academically, one way or another.

The idea is also that you have less to manage. I hear many parents sign their kids up for multiple different camps, so that each kid has the best possible options just for them. Anyone who has ever signed kids up for a camp in the US and managed the related paperwork and logistics, different for each camp, knows what an astronomical work load that is. I also once made that mistake as that’s how people around me—the good moms—did it, so I did it that way too. The summer was unforgettable—in how stressful it was for me.

When I started creating my wishlist, along with my boys, for the ideal summer, what kept popping into my mind repeatedly was “peace and calm”. I have been longing for a more manageable, easy schedule, way less driving, way less emails, way less supervising, and way more time to be free and spontaneous. What topped our lists was paddle boarding, beach, pool and going on a little boat. This might sound crazy, but right now, if someone gave our family free tickets to Disneyland with comped airfares, promising the trip of a lifetime, I would be willing to pay not to go. Instead I would pay even big bucks to go hang out with the kids at firefly-filled forest at sunset. Luckily though, I wouldn’t even have to: it’s free.

Nordic Summer Stress Test

There’s no one way to do a Nordic summer, but the core principle is to lower the bar on everything—not up it. You should do way less than you normally do, and be present way more than you normally can be, not just to your family but to yourself.

When you plan out your summer (unless you already planned it all), run things through “a Nordic summer stress test”:

For things you are thinking of doing, ask: Will this help us recharge? Is this relaxing? Is this enjoyable?
For things you want to commit to doing: How can I lower the bar on my responsibilities? What can I do less, or not at all, or outsource?
For things that seem “mandatory” are they really? Be bold to make changes and create boundaries that serve you better in helping you revitalize this summer.

Nordics are masters of protecting and guarding their summer time—so no matter how you do your summer, what I hope you take away from this newsletter is that you can be a master of your own summertime too.

How to Lower the Bar?

This is undoubtedly much easier to do in the Nordics where 4-8 week paid summer vacations are typical and where it’s common for elementary-age kids to roam free with their friends, without much supervision. In the US and elsewhere, we need to get really innovative and creative with this and ideate beyond the typical ways of doing less, to achieve a Nordic-inspired summer. Here are a few thought starters:

Schedule (way) less. And whatever you schedule, give yourself an out—in case, in that moment, you would rather just not do it: “this should work, but I have to play it by ear a bit!”
Make playdates easy: send a group text, or have your child send it, whenever you are open for your kids to have company over: “We are having a free play afternoon for anyone who wants to come over!” Just remember to add a pick-up time, and ask that kids bring their own picnic-type food they can eat together in the backyard—I have learned that figuring out what 6-10 ravenous boys can eat and cleaning up afterwards is not adding to my “summer of ease”.
Unless you love it, quit cooking for the family and get healthy ready-made things by supporting your local organic stores or farmer’s market
Put kids in charge of more kid stuff—it could be everything from having them do one meal a day for themselves, like breakfast, or planning one day a week for themselves (day of fun activities that doesn’t require you to drive them anywhere, or screen time)
Put older kids in charge of younger kids, for you to get a break, for a reasonable amount of time.

If you are working outside the home, or from home, or as a stay-at-home-parent, see if there’s any way to lessen the work load. Finns think recharging in the summer is critical for being successful and productive—and happy—for the rest of the year. This could be trying something wild at work like asking for 50% workweek for 50% pay for a month or two, or seeing if you could outsource part of your work, or if you freelance, just work less during the summer months. It could also mean getting more help at home, such as hiring a college student on summer vacation as a mother’s helper or getting a housekeeper. It could mean asking family to help out more with specific tasks, or dividing home responsibilities more with your partner. It could mean seeing if you and your mom friends could take turns watching each others kids, almost like an at-home-camp.
If you travel, leave time to wander around and be spontaneous and just enjoy the place like a local would enjoy it on a summer vacation
If you are hosting people, make it less intense: order in dinners or have everyone join you in making dinner and cleaning up after dinner, for example, and reserve some time for you to rest

What Am I Doing?

As for me, I created ease by having all my kids go to the same camp for all the available 7 weeks that’s less than ten minutes from our house. It’s 9am to 2pm, and consists of outdoor play and sports. Nordics would never sign their kids in camps for this many weeks, but that’s why this is “Nordic-inspired.” This camp is as close as it’s going to get for my kids to being able to roam around with friends this summer. Many of their friends are going to sleep-away camps, or travel, or are just as scheduled in the summer as during the rest of the year. I’ll do the group texts for “free play afternoons.” And as for work and projects, I’m doing more in advance, and then taking August off when kids have no camps. And you know what I have planned for it? So far, nothing. And it’s exactly how I want it. This way, I can spontaneously pick ideas from my personal wish list.

My Summer Wishlist:
Sunsets on the beach
Late afternoons on our porch, reading the kids a Muumin book
Paddle boarding on early mornings with one of my kids
Having my 11-year-old golfer take me out on the golf course to go play 3-6 holes (good amount for me!)
Go on a boat with my family and swim to little islands
Build a massive backyard fort from all the top sheets we never use, that I forgot to take to Goodwill
Help my 4 year old learn to swim
Read books and the newspaper (paper version)
Go to the firefly forest
Make rhubarb pie as often as possible
Make fresh salads from all the lettuces we planted