Having just moved our family back from Finland to the US, how do I reconcile with the fact that I took them from safety to a very dangerous place to raise kids?
Being a teacher is HARD. Why don’t parents go on strike and yell their employers they won’t go to work until their kids are safe? Why burden teachers with another responsibility if regular parents aren’t willing to even take it upon themselves.
So my questions here are not actually my opinions or my suggestions of what Americans should, but they are questions as these subjects truly baffle me. As a Scandinavian, these are some of the solutions I see Europeans using effectively when they refuse to accept things as they are. Of course, they have these same challenges. There seems to be no easy solution here.
Exactly if everyone just said nope not going to school keeping my kids with me until we know this will never happen again. I wish!
I remember I said this 12 years ago with my first son, we went to mommy and me and there was a gunman in the area they were going on lockdown. I had a choice stay or leave. I left and from that day forward decided no traditional school for us.
Also all of the teachers homeschooled their own children so that was also something I found interesting. Why am I doing this traditional learning then.
I have never regretted it. We got a tutor and my children thrive learning what they want and it works for our traveling lifestyle.
I have lost friends and family did it understand at the beginning
But it wasn't until the pandemic I was praised for having done it long ago.
I say we stand together and not go to any business that promotes the NRA. We have more lobbyists then representatives.
Where is the community we are responsible for protecting All children.
Period !
our children are too valuable
❤️
Living abroad at the moment and literally was asked is there any place in America that hasn't been touched by gun violence?
Schools churches grocery stores movies concerts ...
I even know a public education worker who homeschools. She still somewhat supports private schooling. There are now many parent coops, homeschooling is not what it used to be. The problem is, most parents I’ve spoken to want to unload their kids to teachers and the tablet when they are at home, in the car, in the grocery store... it’s too exhausting to parent when both parents are expected to bring in an income. Which frankly explains the decreasing birth rate in USA. Small kids are being heavily medicated just so they can bare to sit 8 hrs a day. Being a teacher today in the West is a hard unappreciated job. They have to abide by the woke rules or risk their position.
I definitely think teaching is one of the hardest jobs and I also think parenting in the US is much harder compared to Scandinavia for example, having just lived there. It just baffles me how we send teachers to school to teach and to now try to protect without much assistance. Teachers have told me they would die trying to those on their watch--but that almost sounds like sending someone to war.
I understand that argument as well, that it would not be possible, as let's say employers would not understand it (if you were to work from home or bring them to work) during a strike. But I bet many of them have kids too. And unless everyone is OK with the status quo, I'm not sure how many other options there are to create change--unless parents do it themselves?
Thank you for this comment. It's amazing that you have been able to find a way to create more safety for your family--and, driven by a traumatic experience and modeling the teachers it makes a lot of sense. I'm confused why don't we just do a referendum where people vote for a solution on this? Why do we wait for representatives to do anything because it likely won't happen.
Thank you for this comment. It's amazing that you have been able to find a way to create more safety for your family--and, driven by a traumatic experience and modeling the teachers it makes a lot of sense. I'm confused why don't we just do a referendum where people vote for a solution on this? Why do we wait for representatives to do anything because it likely won't happen.
One thing that really stood out to me when I lived in Argentina was that I was in a place that was not at "war." The United States has been at "war" in some way for my entire life. There is the war on terror for the past 20 years, the gulf war in the early nineties, the war on drugs...it's something that we see as normal. Normal to be at war. There is always some grave danger. Now we are in a "culture war." After WWII, the US went on to fight the Korean War and the Vietnam war - and they did not go well for us. It felt viscerally different to be in a place where war is seen as something terrible and the last resort as opposed to something that happens every day. Argentina is a place where if you fight with someone, if they are a stranger or your cousin, you invite them to your house and have a coffee with them and talk through it. Yes, they are more expressive with their feelings even the dark ones but they learned how to disagree in healthy ways. Classrooms are filled with things encouraging kindness. That's not enough. They must also learn responsibility and accountability. You borrow something...you give it back. You break something...you fix it. You want a good grade...you study. You want more freedom...be more responsible and disciplined. I see very little of that. I agree with giving kids freedom to explore, as much as possible, but to keep them safe they must know how to be responsible. Let them do their laundry at six if they know how to use the machines. But if they don't know how to do it at 15, teach them before giving them the responsibility. Does that make sense? I've obviously thought deeply about these things, lol.
This is a really interesting view point - the “wars” which, possibly, is also media hype like if it rains or snows it’s a “storm” where I’m Finland, for example, it just rains or snows. Finland is extremely averse to anything “war” especially as our grandparents fought in the winter war and Finland has long done whatever it takes to keep things calm
https://giffords.org/lawcenter/resources/scorecard/. This outlines the correlation between state gun control laws and gun deaths. Remember, when it coms to congress, we all vote together. I've only ever lived in states with strong gun control laws, NJ, NYC and MD. It blows my mind to hear about how common guns are at restaurants...everywhere in places like Alabama.
Thanks for this - it's really so interesting. Though as a Scandinavian (Ok, with dual citizenships, but I still identify as Scandinavian) even the states with A or A- seem somewhat lax, compared to the gun violence in other 1st world countries. But, considering these stats, I am still so baffled why all states would not want to be an A and not lose citizens to gun violence
I spewed a lot of info yesterday. I'm so grateful that you opened this conversation because it really got me thinking. There are two conversations for parents, how do I keep my child safe and how do I help keep children safe. My opinions are on the second question. Each person must make their own choices for the first. My concerns about gun regulation aren't just for the physical safety of children but also for their mental safety. Children must know how valuable they are! How important they are to us not just to their parents but to society. They are the next generation. When the government treats them like collateral damage it is...damaging to ALL children. Sandy Hook - first graders - NO CHANGE. Even the youngest and most vulnerable among us aren't worthy of protection? They cannot even go to the store alone but we will not do something ANYTHING to protect them from guns? Parkland - the surviving students expressed their outrage and grief by leading on of the largest marches on Washington DC ever....and nothing! Is this how we show the next generation that it is worthy and good to be engaged in their society and political system? Connecticut has relatively strong gun laws. https://cagvedfund.org/ct-gun-laws/.
I'm so grateful for your replies as not many people are willing or interested in jumping into a conversation about this (beyond: nothing should change or "#nomore"). I think this is a really good point, the conversation on "how do I help keep children safe" -- it seems like the Republican party is doing a lot legally to "keep kids safe" (social media regulations, or restricting information in schools and libraries, or in kids rights when it comes to gender and so forth), but like you said, kids are not deemed worthy of more protection than the right to have guns without much regulation. I'm just thinking, why are kids worth being protected from social media for example, but not worth being protected from guns? I don't think I have ever been more baffled by any country's politics or laws (and I have lived in 7 countries).
It's common to hear, "Congress hasn't done anything" but we have voted in 11 different Congress' since Columbine. WE keep voting for people who do nothing. WE have done nothing. For the people who have voted for more gun control it's so disheartening to feel so powerless. This must be how children feel as well.
As a teacher I would like to say that more than guns and security systems on schools the problem here is also mental health, most of the massive school shots were made by students of their own school. They suffer a lot of bullying making them feel trap and making them do what they did, teacher and parents need to put more attention to the students behaviors, also, the law for buying guns in America HAS to change, is really scary that someone not mentally stable can buy a gun.
It is wild that you can buy a gun without a license, and without any insurance, or registration, and with zero monitoring .... mental health is really hard as I wonder what schools/ parents/ teachers can do more. Helping children early on would definitely make a massive change in general in kids' mental health.
Turns out they updated the Dickey amendment in 2018 and the 2020 omnibus bill is the first time congress has earmarked funds for gun safety research…so there is hope on the horizon!!!
Thank you so much for so many of your thoughts. I think if we all asked more questions (what if, why not...) rather than opinions I think there might be more movement and more creativity to come up with new solutions. But here I'm thinking why is there money earmarked for RESEARCH and not keeping kids safer right now?
The president cannot use more executive power because it would violate states rights. This is what happened with abortion. If the president were to do something, the ruling could be appealed and eventually would end up in the Supreme Court. Individual states CAN and DO pass their own gun control laws and regulations. And some don’t. Michigan and Maryland are both proactive in regulating guns.
It seems like states here would have the power to truly overhaul the laws in their own states. Why don't state do referendum on gun safety and school safety? I have not hears any major media writing about that possibility or politician discussing that, but wouldn't that be a good option here?
The Dickey Amendment in 1996 banned the use of federal funds to research making guns safer. Researching how to make cars safer and prevent automobile deaths have led to loads of changes to cars. It’s prohibited to federally fund that kind of research in the USA. I know. Blows the mind. Why don’t private companies do it? Who will enforce having the gun companies make changes? Who will regulate guns if the government won’t?
Wow. I did not know that. How is that possible that anyone created an amendment like that? And especially as the 2nd amendment says it should be "well-regulated"
For security, inner city schools have had metal detectors and police for decades. Psychologically, I do not think this is the right answer. I mean, you’re going to use school funds to hire more people and buy more things but won’t pass gun control laws?
Yes, this I know, but in my opinion - now an opinion, not a question - I think with the lack of other things to keep kids safe in schools right now, each school needs to become bullet-proof basically (I see nothing happening for gun safety laws)
As for pro-life, some people think that fundamentally the USA is a Christian nation. People that are pro life are usually aligned with that. It’s not about taking care of people, it’s about asserting “Christian” values. This is a whole different rabbit hole. There is a NPR throughline podcast called the evangelical vote which explains this pretty clearly.
Thanks for this! This is the most baffling concept to me: the pro-life term that's not actually pro-life -- aren't Christian values supposed to be about taking care of people? What are Cristian values if NOT about taking care of people? I need to dig up that podcast.
Being a teacher is HARD. Why don’t parents go on strike and yell their employers they won’t go to work until their kids are safe? Why burden teachers with another responsibility if regular parents aren’t willing to even take it upon themselves.
So my questions here are not actually my opinions or my suggestions of what Americans should, but they are questions as these subjects truly baffle me. As a Scandinavian, these are some of the solutions I see Europeans using effectively when they refuse to accept things as they are. Of course, they have these same challenges. There seems to be no easy solution here.
Exactly if everyone just said nope not going to school keeping my kids with me until we know this will never happen again. I wish!
I remember I said this 12 years ago with my first son, we went to mommy and me and there was a gunman in the area they were going on lockdown. I had a choice stay or leave. I left and from that day forward decided no traditional school for us.
Also all of the teachers homeschooled their own children so that was also something I found interesting. Why am I doing this traditional learning then.
I have never regretted it. We got a tutor and my children thrive learning what they want and it works for our traveling lifestyle.
I have lost friends and family did it understand at the beginning
But it wasn't until the pandemic I was praised for having done it long ago.
I say we stand together and not go to any business that promotes the NRA. We have more lobbyists then representatives.
Where is the community we are responsible for protecting All children.
Period !
our children are too valuable
❤️
Living abroad at the moment and literally was asked is there any place in America that hasn't been touched by gun violence?
Schools churches grocery stores movies concerts ...
unacceptable absolutely tragic
I even know a public education worker who homeschools. She still somewhat supports private schooling. There are now many parent coops, homeschooling is not what it used to be. The problem is, most parents I’ve spoken to want to unload their kids to teachers and the tablet when they are at home, in the car, in the grocery store... it’s too exhausting to parent when both parents are expected to bring in an income. Which frankly explains the decreasing birth rate in USA. Small kids are being heavily medicated just so they can bare to sit 8 hrs a day. Being a teacher today in the West is a hard unappreciated job. They have to abide by the woke rules or risk their position.
I definitely think teaching is one of the hardest jobs and I also think parenting in the US is much harder compared to Scandinavia for example, having just lived there. It just baffles me how we send teachers to school to teach and to now try to protect without much assistance. Teachers have told me they would die trying to those on their watch--but that almost sounds like sending someone to war.
What if you said you’re not going to work until your kids were safe at school?
I understand that argument as well, that it would not be possible, as let's say employers would not understand it (if you were to work from home or bring them to work) during a strike. But I bet many of them have kids too. And unless everyone is OK with the status quo, I'm not sure how many other options there are to create change--unless parents do it themselves?
Thank you for this comment. It's amazing that you have been able to find a way to create more safety for your family--and, driven by a traumatic experience and modeling the teachers it makes a lot of sense. I'm confused why don't we just do a referendum where people vote for a solution on this? Why do we wait for representatives to do anything because it likely won't happen.
Thank you for this comment. It's amazing that you have been able to find a way to create more safety for your family--and, driven by a traumatic experience and modeling the teachers it makes a lot of sense. I'm confused why don't we just do a referendum where people vote for a solution on this? Why do we wait for representatives to do anything because it likely won't happen.
One thing that really stood out to me when I lived in Argentina was that I was in a place that was not at "war." The United States has been at "war" in some way for my entire life. There is the war on terror for the past 20 years, the gulf war in the early nineties, the war on drugs...it's something that we see as normal. Normal to be at war. There is always some grave danger. Now we are in a "culture war." After WWII, the US went on to fight the Korean War and the Vietnam war - and they did not go well for us. It felt viscerally different to be in a place where war is seen as something terrible and the last resort as opposed to something that happens every day. Argentina is a place where if you fight with someone, if they are a stranger or your cousin, you invite them to your house and have a coffee with them and talk through it. Yes, they are more expressive with their feelings even the dark ones but they learned how to disagree in healthy ways. Classrooms are filled with things encouraging kindness. That's not enough. They must also learn responsibility and accountability. You borrow something...you give it back. You break something...you fix it. You want a good grade...you study. You want more freedom...be more responsible and disciplined. I see very little of that. I agree with giving kids freedom to explore, as much as possible, but to keep them safe they must know how to be responsible. Let them do their laundry at six if they know how to use the machines. But if they don't know how to do it at 15, teach them before giving them the responsibility. Does that make sense? I've obviously thought deeply about these things, lol.
How to the people in Scandinavia feel about war?
Adding - even Finland joining NATO now was thought through extremely carefully and due to the Russia / Ukraine
This is a really interesting view point - the “wars” which, possibly, is also media hype like if it rains or snows it’s a “storm” where I’m Finland, for example, it just rains or snows. Finland is extremely averse to anything “war” especially as our grandparents fought in the winter war and Finland has long done whatever it takes to keep things calm
https://giffords.org/lawcenter/resources/scorecard/. This outlines the correlation between state gun control laws and gun deaths. Remember, when it coms to congress, we all vote together. I've only ever lived in states with strong gun control laws, NJ, NYC and MD. It blows my mind to hear about how common guns are at restaurants...everywhere in places like Alabama.
Thanks for this - it's really so interesting. Though as a Scandinavian (Ok, with dual citizenships, but I still identify as Scandinavian) even the states with A or A- seem somewhat lax, compared to the gun violence in other 1st world countries. But, considering these stats, I am still so baffled why all states would not want to be an A and not lose citizens to gun violence
I spewed a lot of info yesterday. I'm so grateful that you opened this conversation because it really got me thinking. There are two conversations for parents, how do I keep my child safe and how do I help keep children safe. My opinions are on the second question. Each person must make their own choices for the first. My concerns about gun regulation aren't just for the physical safety of children but also for their mental safety. Children must know how valuable they are! How important they are to us not just to their parents but to society. They are the next generation. When the government treats them like collateral damage it is...damaging to ALL children. Sandy Hook - first graders - NO CHANGE. Even the youngest and most vulnerable among us aren't worthy of protection? They cannot even go to the store alone but we will not do something ANYTHING to protect them from guns? Parkland - the surviving students expressed their outrage and grief by leading on of the largest marches on Washington DC ever....and nothing! Is this how we show the next generation that it is worthy and good to be engaged in their society and political system? Connecticut has relatively strong gun laws. https://cagvedfund.org/ct-gun-laws/.
I'm so grateful for your replies as not many people are willing or interested in jumping into a conversation about this (beyond: nothing should change or "#nomore"). I think this is a really good point, the conversation on "how do I help keep children safe" -- it seems like the Republican party is doing a lot legally to "keep kids safe" (social media regulations, or restricting information in schools and libraries, or in kids rights when it comes to gender and so forth), but like you said, kids are not deemed worthy of more protection than the right to have guns without much regulation. I'm just thinking, why are kids worth being protected from social media for example, but not worth being protected from guns? I don't think I have ever been more baffled by any country's politics or laws (and I have lived in 7 countries).
It's common to hear, "Congress hasn't done anything" but we have voted in 11 different Congress' since Columbine. WE keep voting for people who do nothing. WE have done nothing. For the people who have voted for more gun control it's so disheartening to feel so powerless. This must be how children feel as well.
As a teacher I would like to say that more than guns and security systems on schools the problem here is also mental health, most of the massive school shots were made by students of their own school. They suffer a lot of bullying making them feel trap and making them do what they did, teacher and parents need to put more attention to the students behaviors, also, the law for buying guns in America HAS to change, is really scary that someone not mentally stable can buy a gun.
It is wild that you can buy a gun without a license, and without any insurance, or registration, and with zero monitoring .... mental health is really hard as I wonder what schools/ parents/ teachers can do more. Helping children early on would definitely make a massive change in general in kids' mental health.
Turns out they updated the Dickey amendment in 2018 and the 2020 omnibus bill is the first time congress has earmarked funds for gun safety research…so there is hope on the horizon!!!
Thank you so much for so many of your thoughts. I think if we all asked more questions (what if, why not...) rather than opinions I think there might be more movement and more creativity to come up with new solutions. But here I'm thinking why is there money earmarked for RESEARCH and not keeping kids safer right now?
The president cannot use more executive power because it would violate states rights. This is what happened with abortion. If the president were to do something, the ruling could be appealed and eventually would end up in the Supreme Court. Individual states CAN and DO pass their own gun control laws and regulations. And some don’t. Michigan and Maryland are both proactive in regulating guns.
It seems like states here would have the power to truly overhaul the laws in their own states. Why don't state do referendum on gun safety and school safety? I have not hears any major media writing about that possibility or politician discussing that, but wouldn't that be a good option here?
The Dickey Amendment in 1996 banned the use of federal funds to research making guns safer. Researching how to make cars safer and prevent automobile deaths have led to loads of changes to cars. It’s prohibited to federally fund that kind of research in the USA. I know. Blows the mind. Why don’t private companies do it? Who will enforce having the gun companies make changes? Who will regulate guns if the government won’t?
Wow. I did not know that. How is that possible that anyone created an amendment like that? And especially as the 2nd amendment says it should be "well-regulated"
For security, inner city schools have had metal detectors and police for decades. Psychologically, I do not think this is the right answer. I mean, you’re going to use school funds to hire more people and buy more things but won’t pass gun control laws?
Yes, this I know, but in my opinion - now an opinion, not a question - I think with the lack of other things to keep kids safe in schools right now, each school needs to become bullet-proof basically (I see nothing happening for gun safety laws)
As for pro-life, some people think that fundamentally the USA is a Christian nation. People that are pro life are usually aligned with that. It’s not about taking care of people, it’s about asserting “Christian” values. This is a whole different rabbit hole. There is a NPR throughline podcast called the evangelical vote which explains this pretty clearly.
Thanks for this! This is the most baffling concept to me: the pro-life term that's not actually pro-life -- aren't Christian values supposed to be about taking care of people? What are Cristian values if NOT about taking care of people? I need to dig up that podcast.