Are Nordics the promised land for mothers?
Burned out & overwhelmed, I moved our family of 5 from the US to Finland to find out.
Excited to have you here! Subscribe and join me on a weekly three-month adventure of my - Scandinavian-American mother’s - journey to find balance and regain sense of self after kids, and to find a way out of the constant anxiety and overwhelm in order to live our best motherhood lives.
Having grown up in Finland, I moved to the US at 19, and ended up building an exciting career, marrying an amazing American man, having three boys (aged 8, 7, and 2), and starting a kids’ brand Daily Jungle first in New York City and then settling comfortably in an affluent beach town in Connecticut.
I had reached what millions and millions of people move to the US for (*** read note at the bottom of the post)—my “American Dream”—in multiple areas of my life. Perfect, right?
American Dream with Burnout, Anxiety & Overwhelm
But in the past eight years, since I started having kids, I started experiencing overwhelm and anxiety and depletion unlike nothing I had experienced even in my most extreme New York City “Devil Wears Prada”-type work days. And it just didn’t let go: to thrive and not just survive, my wellness-obsessed lifestyle became my coping strategy. Following the idea that “your wellness is your responsibility,” I starting sharing my wellness tips to thousands of other women and moms who also wanted to feel better.
(You can read about my total mom burnout - and my recovery and coping strategies here.)
Scandinavian immersion for the kids - and for the mom
Then, without thinking too much about myself, I arranged a few-month-long stint in Helsinki, to immerse my boys in the Finnish language and culture, enrolling the kids in Finnish school, daycare and after-school activities for this fall.
It was really a trip just for the kids, but then we arrived and even in the midst of setting up our new lives, I felt like I was finally able to take a deep breath, and I felt so much of that anxiety and overwhelm starting to melt away.
I realized this journey was not just about my boys’ Scandinavian immersion, it was also my journey to experience the way Scandinavians do motherhood.
My journey to uncover the Scandinavian secret to balance and to regaining the sense of self after having kids.
Does balance and rediscovering the sense of self after kids need to be so hard?
Some of the Scandinavian ease, of course, if based on the umpteenth free and subsidized high-quality support structures for parents, but it can’t be all of it.
I’m confident that at least part of what I will discover is something that I can “bottle up” and bring back to America.
I’m also think that I can sprinkle some of my postpartum wellness strategies that I have become an expert of into that formula and add a little a bit of “dream big” mentality on top: sort of giving us all a permission to pursue the kind of motherhood we really want to live, and shake off at least half of that anxiety, overwhelm and depletion for good.
What’s the Scandinavian Secret? Can it be brought back to the US?
In the next two months, I’ll be sharing what I learn. I also learn from YOU. Use the comments below to chime in, add in, and ask questions so together we can start shifting the way we experience motherhood.
Follow my daily Scandinavian adventure + wellness tips on Instagram.
Three of my most surprising discoveries so far:
There is so much less pressure on the mother when it comes to parenting: you know how in the US you manage every detail of your child’s life because you have to and everything your child does is also a reflection on you and you are solely responsible for the outcome of your child? That pressure is somehow not there - or nowhere to that extent. I’m not sure why but I’ll get to the bottom of this!
Even though Finnish moms would never say that they put themselves first in terms of wellness, they do. Wellness habits like a weekly sauna night, to name one, or are sort of sacred.
Funny one, but Finnish moms have so many less wrinkles and it doesn’t look like Botox. Is it because they emote less or because they are less overwhelmed?
Now, what should I write about next?
10 ways Scandinavian parenting feels more relaxing & how to try it no matter where you are
After dropping my very-American boys into Finnish lifestyle, I realized how unequipped they are to handle the responsibilities and the independence: they have never had the opportunity to develop those skills. Finland is truly the land of the free (kids!): how am I trying to help my boys adjust to the Scandinavian (kids’) freedoms
xx Annabella Daily
*** (Note: my move to the US for excitement and fun opportunities, and unlike most, I did not “immigrate,” no one from Scandinavia needs to immigrate anywhere).