Want a Champion? 3 Nordic Hacks to Try
SCANDI CLASS for Youth Sport Parents. The results are spectacular.
Hi friends! How about a new Scandi class this week (Scandinavian + Master Class = Scandi Class) on how to raise champions, in the stress-free Nordic style?
Based on my last week’s take on kids’ competitive sports in the US, here’s how to guide your kids to success like a Scandinavian.
I put together all the things that I have started doing, as a parent, to redirect my kids’ focus on winning to using sports as the way to teach mental game, independence, life skills and self-care.
If you haven’t read last week’s piece, just tap below:
Mental Game
Before each game or tournament, we follow an easy and fun mental game routine. I’m using the routine I created for my middle son Miles, 7, for soccer, as an example.
Pump-up songs. During the car ride to a game, I first put on pump-up songs, to change our mental state (Miles’s favorite is “Legends Are Made” by Sam Tinnesz).
Long exhale breathing. I then lower the volume and walk him through quick breath work. For now, we do a simple 1:2 ratio long exhale breathing: we breath in for 3, breath out for 6. In just about a minute, this type of breathing switches the state of the autonomous nervous system from sympathetic (fight or flight) to parasympathetic (rest and digest) which is super helpful for calming then nerves and lowering the pressure a kid might feel. You could also breath out with a buzzing sound, like a bee. This enhances their focus on being in the now—playing the game—rather than the result.
Visualizing the game. We then turn up the volume, and he spends the rest of the ride visualizing his own game: legs feeling light and fast, ball going exactly where he intends it to go, and playing well with his team.
Belly bump. Last, as he gets out of the car, we jump up and do an in-the-air belly bump. Why? Because it’s really funny, and you can’t feel stressed out or anxious when laughing.
Independence & Life Skills
Sports offers unbelievably good opportunities for kids to develop independence and life skills—but only if you as a parent start doing less for your kids. Instead, first do a task together, and then let your kids do it on their own—and after a few practice rounds, allow for natural consequences.
Have kids dress themselves for each sport, and pack their own bag. I have a box for each sport on a low shelf in the boys’ closets, and one in the mudroom for the most frequent sport. 30-60 mins before it’s time to leave, they are tasked to get dressed in the right outfit, and to pack their sports bag with the right gear and water. If this is challenging (i.e. they keep forgetting things, or when clothes like tee shirt color keeps changing based on if it’s a home game or away game), a photo picturing all of their clothes and gear in the order they should put it on, or pack it, for each type of event, helps a lot.
Have kids deal with consequences on their own. If they forget something, that’s OK. For example, when Miles had on a wrong color tee for a soccer game, because he had left the other shirt on a bench next to his bag instead of packing it (both need to be packed as sometimes the color they wear is determined at the last minute), we were not sure if he could play in the game once we arrived and realized the shirt was not in his bag.
I suggested he go talk to his coach and figure the situation out with him. He suggested I drive back to get his shirt. I said I couldn’t do that, but I said I knew he could figure it out. He talked to his coach, and got a blue scrimmage vest to threw over his white tee—and got to play.
He fixed the situation all on his own, and he’ll likely not forget his own gear in the future.
Have kids keep track of time for their own sports activities. Kids should know when it’s time to get ready, and when it’s time to leave. This is my next parenting goal, and I admit that this is especially hard to achieve when I’m the one driving the kids—there’s no other good natural consequence other than missing the practice or game if they are not ready on time.
We started with getting the boys wrist watches and having them time how long tasks take, and creating a calendar of their weekly activities—but it’s definitely a work in progress! If you have tips to achieve this, please leave a comment below!
Have kids wash their own sports clothes after the game or practice. Our boys are tasked with throwing their clothes in the washer and turning it on at the end of the day, with two pumps of laundry detergent, on active wear cycle. In the morning, they either hang their clothes to dry or throw them in the drier, and—this is work in progress—sort them back in their sports boxes when they are dry. This also solves the questions:
“MAMAAAAA! DADDDYYYY! Where are my… “
“Well, I haven’t touched them. Just think where you put them. I know you are the best person ever at finding things. I’m sure you’ll find them.” And, they usually do: and then it’s a win before they even get on the field!
Hi! Don’t forget to tap the heart-shaped like button at the end, it’s like saying “hi!” back, “I was here!”
Life skills & Fun
Sports allows kids to meet lots of new friends, so, with little extra effort, you can turn the structured sports play into unstructured free play outside—the core tenet of finding success in life per every Scandinavian expert—by inviting the team over after a game or practice once in a while.
Last weekend, I invited the soccer team over for a swim, and ordered some pizza for the kids. A few moms ended up bringing rose, and everyone had a fantastic time. And the I achieved my goal: hours of fun, unstructured free play for the kids.
If you are after raising a champion, even pros know that building trust and friendship makes the team want to succeed.
Once a Champion, Always a Champion
Bulldozer parents—who try to move every obstacle to get their child to win—tend to forget what actually turns someone into a great athlete: the skills and stamina they develop.
The games or tournaments young kids win or lose doesn’t matter; what matters is developing the skills in your sport based on your age-appropriate “windows of opportunity”, and having so much fun that you want keep going—even though you’ll likely lose more than win, at first.
It’s also what I think great parenting is, even though my kids sometimes beg to differ (I have heard “other kids don’t have to do this!” many times over, but that might be just what they assume).
When your kids start with a win before they even leave home, learn how to get themselves into a winning mental state, and have the opportunities to create winning friendships, your kid will be a champion on and off the field. Now and well into the future.
Would you agree with this? Or do you rather believe they can focus better on sports if you do the rest for them? Which one of these hacks do you already do, or would like to try first? Let’s chat!
x Annabella
Do you have friends with kids’ in sports? You can share this with the tab below!