10 Things I Do Differently #3
Sleep-away camps, my 5pm phone ban, and the parenting tip we always hear that I think is completely wrong
Pic from summer ‘24 archives
Hi!
First, this is the first summer with school-age children when I’m not counting down to September. It is not because I scheduled this summer better, or organized more fun things, or did some awe-inspiring travel.
It’s because I interviewed over a dozen Finnish moms (and a teacher) to understand how Finns really do summer, and followed their advice. So far, it’s been the best summer since I became a mom. If you too are craving more ease, it’s all this post below, in case you missed it:
The first part of that guide is free to read. The full 100 and the printable are for the Scandi Circle, the paid tier.
Now, let’s get into the 10!
1-3. Top notes to inspire your mom friends this summer
Before anything else — I pulled a few of my favorite recent Substack Notes that really resonated with you. Screenshot the one you love, and text it to the mom who needs it!
💙 Tap the heart at the end to like this post if any of these made you feel like, yes, I believe this, too! We are kindred spirits.
4. Why I’m still saying “no” to sleep-away camps
Almost everyone around me ships their kids off for two weeks, a month, or even longer— even as young as third graders. And even though moms keep persuading me, I still feel like: “No, I’m not going to hop on that bandwagon.” Maybe it’s because in Finland, partly due to parents’ long summer vacations, kids don’t typically even do day camps.
The Finnish philosophy is that kids need to relax and recharge over the summer, and for that they need you and their home (at least at night, even if they are playing with friends all day). Even fun camps are stressful and taxing when you count in the separation, new grown-ups, new friends, and new routines.
“But Annabella, these sleepaway camps offer kids exactly what you talk about: independence, freedom, and roaming in nature!” many moms tell me.
Sure, but I think kids can get that without the long separation, too—and let’s be honest, without the astronomical price tag that I personally would much rather use for our Finland trips.
I also feel like the tween years are so fleeting, and that this is the moment when I can influence my kids the most by doing things with them and learning who they are shaping up to be—especially now that we can actually do and enjoy similar things.
Soon, they’ll be taller than me, and I can’t get this time back. They can go on their sleep-away camps when they are 18:-)
PS. Finland also has sleep-away camps, but they tend to be 2-6 nights long, often for less than $200.
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5. No screens for me after 5 pm
While I have been battling my kids’ incessant focus on screens (I’m in the midst of writing a whole separate post on this and the new Nordic guidelines, for the start of the school season), I realized that I, too, was always checking screens (my phone).
I also noticed how hard it was for me to be present, how my mind was always wandering, and how my boys started policing my screen use in return. I decided to take drastic measures and got the Block. It’s an app where you control when and what you block on your phone—I set it to ban most of my apps starting at 5 pm. I need the actual physical device shaped like a block to unblock the apps, and I hid it by my desk to make it extra cumbersome. You could also set parental controls on your own phone. It’s truly game-changing!
Would you try this?
6. The parenting tip we all get that I believe is completely wrong
“Spend fifteen minutes of one-on-one quality time with each kid daily, just joining in on what they do.”
I mean—who came up with that? With three kids, it’s never going to happen. And, no, I won’t join in on the backflips on the trampoline. And none of the other kids would ever let a brother have mom to himself at home anyway.
This one has never worked for us and it never will. So, I threw it out and went with the Finnish parenting philosophy instead: “do what works”.
What that looks like—and the three one-on-one adventures that have been pure heaven this summer— is on the other side.
The other 3 things you’ll find there besides the one-on-one adventures:
My one big exception to screentime
The Finnish clothing brand for kids I’m obsessed with—and my thoughts if kids are used in content (how it should be done, and what they should get out of it)
Promo code to that brand to shop in the US
You also get access to the full 100 Ways to Do Nothing guide, the printable, the whole Scandi Circle Library, workshops with Nordic-inspired experts, and every paid section and how-to for the next year, and more.
