First up: While parent group chats for school and sports in Scandinavia include moms and dads, in the US, many are just for moms. Where's the American dad?
I would love to hear about your decision process with deciding to communicate the way you did in regards to including dads. Why include your rationale vs just asking to include your husband? Why push to include all or at least other dads vs just your husband? Why try to shape the world around you vs just your family?
Great question! For several reasons - let me know if these make sense:
1. Messaging groups are a social way to connect with others. One of my American friends was telling me how- in a different school-as the messaging groups and drop offs are just moms, and her husband hasn’t been to connect with any other dads whereas she has made some great new friends.
2. messaging groups lead to collectively decided actions & participation: one, I think it would be so cool to get dad’s take on things (it tends to be quite different from moms) and- as in Scandinavia kids in general grow up to see gender roles as a lot more equal due to countless ways the entire societies there are structured that I won’t get into here now - this is one small way we can show our kids how we skip more stereotypical roles.
3. And, I also wanted to suggest it as maybe dads would want to be included! (Here in your question we are assuming they don’t and moms maybe prefer to keep it just for moms) and maybe we are doing things this way, like yet another friend suggested, “because it’s just the way it is” but maybe it doesn’t need to be like that and the other way could be great too
Thank you! It's so fascinating to see things now through the Scandinavian lens: I never thought twice about this. I'm not sure how open women or men here are to change the status quo - "it's just the way it is" but I'm sure we can move the needle at least a little bit!
I love hearing about this experience and you are my absolute mom inspo! I’m not a mom but I def want to incorporate Nordic ways in my life-I think it’s great you told the mom groups that your husband is taking over and yay that your husband is taking over ! Can’t wait to hear more! Ps I read calling in the one based on your recommendation. Thank you it was a great book!
Lisa! Thank you so much! I think one of the luxuries of living in Scandinavia was to truly experience another way to do things - which in turned allowed me to reflect why and how my family or I do certain things that you normally don't question. It allowed me to compare and contrast our lives there and here, and basically say, why can't we try this other way of doing things? There are no rules. We just subconsciously decided this is the way it is. So when we are more conscious of how we do day to day, then we can change to allow us live more fulfilling lives. And WOW!! I can't believe you read Calling In The One! It's so special that book! I also did love coaching with Debra Berndt - now she has lots of courses:-) That's something I love from America, the self-help or self-improvement world:-)
Nyt taisit sohaista muurahaispesää oikein kunnolla 🤣 Sorry in Finnish because that just can’t be translated. But….I am Finn like Annabella and lived in USA for a short while and I am 100% behind every word what she has written. Your culture is just so different than ours - believe it or not. Everything she has written us so true. To Annabella: ”Karavaani kulkee ja koirat haukkuu 🐾”
Nyt ainakin näyttää siltä, että vanhemmat eivät halua isejä mukaan näihin ketjuihin,joihin ehdotin isiä mukaan. Äidit kertoivat että he ovat liian kiireisiä tai eivät lukisi viestejä tai että äidit itse hoitavat perheen kommunikaatiot. Toiset harmistuivat. Mutta silti aina kannattaa yrittää. Musta olisi ihanaa saada isit myös ketjuihin ja tehdä kouluun osallistumista työajan ulkopuolella, muuten on aika mahdotonta osallistua jos ei satu olemaan extra aikaa juuri sille keskellä päivää.
En vaan ymmärrä tuota työkulttuuria siellä ja tätä jakoa äidit vs.isät. Se ei vie kun pari sekunttia lukaista ne viestit wappi-ryhmästä. Minä en ainakaan jaksaisi olla yksin ”meidän perheen projektipäällikkö” ja sitä jatkuvaa kyselyä että monelta treenit ja missä pelit ja milloin pitää olla siellä ja täällä. Sanot aina että katso itse -jos erehtyy kyselemään 🤣
I would love to hear about your decision process with deciding to communicate the way you did in regards to including dads. Why include your rationale vs just asking to include your husband? Why push to include all or at least other dads vs just your husband? Why try to shape the world around you vs just your family?
Great question! For several reasons - let me know if these make sense:
1. Messaging groups are a social way to connect with others. One of my American friends was telling me how- in a different school-as the messaging groups and drop offs are just moms, and her husband hasn’t been to connect with any other dads whereas she has made some great new friends.
2. messaging groups lead to collectively decided actions & participation: one, I think it would be so cool to get dad’s take on things (it tends to be quite different from moms) and- as in Scandinavia kids in general grow up to see gender roles as a lot more equal due to countless ways the entire societies there are structured that I won’t get into here now - this is one small way we can show our kids how we skip more stereotypical roles.
3. And, I also wanted to suggest it as maybe dads would want to be included! (Here in your question we are assuming they don’t and moms maybe prefer to keep it just for moms) and maybe we are doing things this way, like yet another friend suggested, “because it’s just the way it is” but maybe it doesn’t need to be like that and the other way could be great too
Thank you! Love your thinking
Yes yes and jihaa! You are rocking girl 💪
Thank you! It's so fascinating to see things now through the Scandinavian lens: I never thought twice about this. I'm not sure how open women or men here are to change the status quo - "it's just the way it is" but I'm sure we can move the needle at least a little bit!
I love hearing about this experience and you are my absolute mom inspo! I’m not a mom but I def want to incorporate Nordic ways in my life-I think it’s great you told the mom groups that your husband is taking over and yay that your husband is taking over ! Can’t wait to hear more! Ps I read calling in the one based on your recommendation. Thank you it was a great book!
Lisa! Thank you so much! I think one of the luxuries of living in Scandinavia was to truly experience another way to do things - which in turned allowed me to reflect why and how my family or I do certain things that you normally don't question. It allowed me to compare and contrast our lives there and here, and basically say, why can't we try this other way of doing things? There are no rules. We just subconsciously decided this is the way it is. So when we are more conscious of how we do day to day, then we can change to allow us live more fulfilling lives. And WOW!! I can't believe you read Calling In The One! It's so special that book! I also did love coaching with Debra Berndt - now she has lots of courses:-) That's something I love from America, the self-help or self-improvement world:-)
This is so interesting! Please let us know how they will response to the messages!
Pienestä se muutos alkaa! Mahtavaa!!
Nyt taisit sohaista muurahaispesää oikein kunnolla 🤣 Sorry in Finnish because that just can’t be translated. But….I am Finn like Annabella and lived in USA for a short while and I am 100% behind every word what she has written. Your culture is just so different than ours - believe it or not. Everything she has written us so true. To Annabella: ”Karavaani kulkee ja koirat haukkuu 🐾”
Nyt ainakin näyttää siltä, että vanhemmat eivät halua isejä mukaan näihin ketjuihin,joihin ehdotin isiä mukaan. Äidit kertoivat että he ovat liian kiireisiä tai eivät lukisi viestejä tai että äidit itse hoitavat perheen kommunikaatiot. Toiset harmistuivat. Mutta silti aina kannattaa yrittää. Musta olisi ihanaa saada isit myös ketjuihin ja tehdä kouluun osallistumista työajan ulkopuolella, muuten on aika mahdotonta osallistua jos ei satu olemaan extra aikaa juuri sille keskellä päivää.
En vaan ymmärrä tuota työkulttuuria siellä ja tätä jakoa äidit vs.isät. Se ei vie kun pari sekunttia lukaista ne viestit wappi-ryhmästä. Minä en ainakaan jaksaisi olla yksin ”meidän perheen projektipäällikkö” ja sitä jatkuvaa kyselyä että monelta treenit ja missä pelit ja milloin pitää olla siellä ja täällä. Sanot aina että katso itse -jos erehtyy kyselemään 🤣