Let's unlock the truth: competitive youth sports thrive when bulldozer parents step back. If you want champions, model Scandinavia's winning hands-off formula.
Yes-- especially if it's an outdoor sport and the kids are enjoying it and the coach is focused on fun and skill improvement. I would definitely save two week days for just free play/ unstructured time at home and I cut back those weeks or days (even if the boys don't want to) when I can see it's too much for them.
I think those are great boundaries. Do those two days include the weekends, or just two of the five week days? and Do you not sign up for activities that violate the two days, or just request those days off from the coach/club?
I include two week days, after school for each kid - I wish they were the same days (would be easier for me!), but usually they are different. But, it's nice that way too because they truly independent play/chill time (no screens allowed though!). The boys chose their priority sport, and we try to make it to all those practices and games, and then the second sport we skip on as needed to keep those two days free, and yes, just say we can't make it. I notice that it does happen a lot (a few kids always can't make it) as many kids here have multiple competitive sports and something every single day as well as overlapping practices and games. So basically I put everything in the calendar, and then hopefully two days are free, but if they are not, then I choose the lowest priority one to skip on! The weekends are, in my opinion, too much, because there are so many games and clinics, but as long as they want to go and my husband is happy hauling them around, we'll keep them for now. I do the hauling for one soccer game per weekend, but that's it (my limit:-) My hubs does two baseball games & 2 golf clinics.
Tony, this piece is definitely all inspired by you! Your questions really got me thinking and I read a lot into the Norwegian youth sports as well - you sent me that fantastic article. My thinking keeps evolving as I have these experiences and talk to more people in Scandinavia and here--but I think this is it. If bulldozers move aside, most of the issues would be solved pretty quickly.
Gotcha, so you see the main place for improvement being in bulldozer involvement vs too much structure and time in the travel sports?
Yes-- especially if it's an outdoor sport and the kids are enjoying it and the coach is focused on fun and skill improvement. I would definitely save two week days for just free play/ unstructured time at home and I cut back those weeks or days (even if the boys don't want to) when I can see it's too much for them.
I think those are great boundaries. Do those two days include the weekends, or just two of the five week days? and Do you not sign up for activities that violate the two days, or just request those days off from the coach/club?
I include two week days, after school for each kid - I wish they were the same days (would be easier for me!), but usually they are different. But, it's nice that way too because they truly independent play/chill time (no screens allowed though!). The boys chose their priority sport, and we try to make it to all those practices and games, and then the second sport we skip on as needed to keep those two days free, and yes, just say we can't make it. I notice that it does happen a lot (a few kids always can't make it) as many kids here have multiple competitive sports and something every single day as well as overlapping practices and games. So basically I put everything in the calendar, and then hopefully two days are free, but if they are not, then I choose the lowest priority one to skip on! The weekends are, in my opinion, too much, because there are so many games and clinics, but as long as they want to go and my husband is happy hauling them around, we'll keep them for now. I do the hauling for one soccer game per weekend, but that's it (my limit:-) My hubs does two baseball games & 2 golf clinics.
Wow that must be really hard work keeping track of all that, good for you!
What a great take on American sports!
Tony, this piece is definitely all inspired by you! Your questions really got me thinking and I read a lot into the Norwegian youth sports as well - you sent me that fantastic article. My thinking keeps evolving as I have these experiences and talk to more people in Scandinavia and here--but I think this is it. If bulldozers move aside, most of the issues would be solved pretty quickly.